I just had to throw together a review of the Ergodyne ProFlex 9000 Anti-Vibration Gloves after all of the hilarious comments I got on the picture of them I posted on Instagram! I also have some pretty strong opinions about them as well, so why not go ahead and share them with you all. Let me give you a little background on these things before we really dive into them. It was about a month or so ago that Jake showed up to the trails with them. He had somehow come across them during one of his epic Amazon surfing sessions and figured why not give them a go. Now, I don’t care how fucking tough you think you are, a few hours of packin’ and slapin’ on some jumps puts a hurting on not just your hands but on your whole body. My hands have built up a tolerance to it at this point, but my rib that I dislocated a couple years ago is another story. With each and every slap the vibrations coming up the shovel handle manage to head straight to my weakest point. That said, I was definitely intrigued when Jake broke out these anti-vibration gloves.
Jake brought these things out to the trails at the perfect time to test them out. I had just finished up a new lip a few days before and was planning on spending some time slapping it into shape. I threw on the ProFlex 9000s, grabbed a flatty, and started going to town. The thing I immediately noticed was that the thickness of the chloroprene rubber palm pads really effected the strength of my grip. It really felt like I was just barely holding onto the shovel. I tried to compensate by squeezing tighter, but it still felt like I was barely hanging on. Within just a few minutes my hands were completely cramped up and the gloves found themselves a new home on the ground.
They do indeed reduce vibrations…
The thickness of the padding makes it feel like you’re trying to hold onto a telephone pole rather than a shovel handle. Unless you’re softer than a bag of baby hair, you can power through any soreness that comes from packing in a jump. Hand cramps, that another story. I was barely hanging onto the shovel with these things right from the start. Mix in some cramped hands and the shovel may as well have been covered in grease.
SHOULD YOU BUY THEM?
Nope, don’t waste your money. The next time you have a marathon day of jump packing coming up, take the money that you would have spent on these and buy some beer. Drink some before, during, and after said marathon day of jump packing and you won’t even notice any associated soreness.